Choo-fucking-choo: review of "Bullet Train," the new action film from the "John Wick" director
An adaptation of the famous expression karma is a bitch.
A mercenary nicknamed Ladybug (Brad Pitt) gets an easy assignment at first sight: to get into a high-speed train car going from Tokyo to Kyoto, intercept a suitcase and get off at the nearest stop. Two other British-accented spinsters, Mandarin and Lemon (Aaron Taylor Johnson and Brian Tyree Henry), must deliver the suitcase and the wayward teenager to the head of the Japanese mafia - a Russian (yes, Russian) murderer nicknamed White Death. With the White Death seeks to settle accounts with Prince (Joey King) - a young confused student, and at the same time a cold-blooded killer. She holds hostage the son of White Death's sworn enemy, with whose help the mercenary wants to carry out a plan to eliminate the mobster. None of the characters listed know each other, but after the mysterious death of a teenager, their paths will cross, and not all will manage to get off the train alive.
And no, this is not another task for Poirot: the plot is based on the best-selling novel "Murder Train" by the Japanese writer Kotaro Isaka, who also participated in the adaptation of the script. Although the novel itself has undergone severe Americanization, Litch has retained the main thing - karmic reflections on the phenomenon of luck and respect for the portrayal of Japanese culture on the screen. The protagonist bears the nickname Ladybug in an ironic way - he is catastrophically unlucky in life: due to a series of ridiculous coincidences, the simplest task is a deadly danger. Prince has it all quite different: the girl seems to be saved by fate itself, bringing the heroine's bloody plan closer to its imminent execution. Karmically it should be the other way around, as Ladybug has refused to use weapons in the name of pacifism, while Prince is not shy about maiming young children if they stand in the way of her goal. Isaka ponders throughout the story whether there is "bad" luck and whether a series of misfortunes can still lead to something good.
Well, while the screenwriter ponders and we wait for the answer to the question posed, the characters break arms and legs, get hit in the head and spout blood - this is, after all, a ruthless action film from the master of ruthless action films, David Litch. The idea is that Faster Than a Bullet should be used in the campaign for an Oscar nomination for stuntmen: the choreography of the adrenaline-fueled fight scenes is sometimes more complex than the pirouettes in Swan Lake. Wait till you lose your jaw from the beauty of the fights, it will come in handy for uncontrollable fits of laughter, after all, our heroes are some jerks, which may make the fights funnier than the witty dialogues. And if the main plot is reminiscent of Japanese Agatha Christie on "Accelerators," Mandarin and Lemon add the Guy Ritchie-esque hooliganism to the picture, speaking in purest cockney (though Brian Tyree Henry is not British, his accent might make you doubt it) and prancing around in threesuits elegantly smeared with enemies' blood.
On a high-speed train rushing through Japan to meet a Yakuza and a Russian boss, an unlucky American, two Britons and a local hostage of circumstances are joined by a Mexican thug (Bad Bunny). The mix of cultures in all their beauty, and the intertwining of five different stories in a nonlinear narrative can certainly overheat your head because of the intensity of what's going on. Perhaps this is the main complaint of critics who have discounted negative reviews to screw up the film's rating (at the time of writing this review, "Faster Than a Bullet" has only 56% on "Tomatoes"). You'll have to devote all your energies to the focus destroyed by TikTok and the TV series in order not to lose the thread of what's going on, but that doesn't make "Faster Than a Bullet" lose its status as the perfect cinematic attraction. In an age of slideshow movies like "Red Notice" and "Grey Man," blockbusters are gradually losing public trust, becoming an empty shell in a beautiful package of big budgets and recognizable faces. Litch's new brainchild can't be classified as such generics, it's a really complex-simple and, most importantly, entertaining movie, with Buddhist meditations on karma, fractured skulls and lots of really unexpected cameos.
The star-studded cast blows your head off like a shot to the forehead. Brad Pitt seems to be off the chain: armed with a hobo suit and remembering the action stunts of the "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" era, the actor frittered away his best performance of the decade. The man who decided that Aaron Taylor Johnson needed a mustache to go with his three-piece suit deserves a Nobel Prize, hold on tight to your sexuality, folks. On top of everything else, Hollywood should finally realize that Brian Tyree Henry, known for his role as Paperboy from Atlanta, needs to be given more paramount roles because the actor's dramatic and comedic potential is breaching walls. When the White Death takes off his mask and the audience sees the actor in the role, some particularly nimble moviegoers may have a heart attack. And if you decide to read the review to find out how Bad Bunny the musician proved himself, we tell you: too good to be true.
The formula "big budget + star cast" doesn't always work, but when you have a talented purveyor of tooth-pounding action movies at the helm, you don't have to worry about the quality of your time. David Litch has made it clear since "John Wick" that he could easily take the bread away from Michael Bay and the Russo brothers, simply because he can make better action movies on a much smaller budget, and once he gets to the impressive financing, he can level the competition altogether. "Faster Than a Bullet" accomplishes its goal of becoming the main blockbuster of the summer and shaking up the heat-melted heads of the audience by sending them on a frenzied trip to Japan with a one-way ticket. Maybe this trip will bring good luck.
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